What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

roses are red violets are blue

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.