Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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