An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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CRY

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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banana

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops