How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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pauls tuck

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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chuck norris

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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