What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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Your all fags

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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