Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops