Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Gay Rights

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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