What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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Pain Olympics.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Penis.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops