How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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falling didnt make the difference

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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That's what she didn't say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops