A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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Anti-joke.com

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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