Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black person walks out of KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops