Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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drake

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Compton

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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Women's rights

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops