I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Your mom is fat

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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