The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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