What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Woman's Rights

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Yes!

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Twenty-Four

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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vaginas

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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