what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

h

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

U mad?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops