A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops