roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Snausages.

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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