There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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fack me in the ace! CC

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops