I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

womens rights to vote

A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

Penis

Nickelback

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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