2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +2

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Snarf Nuggets

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's big and fat? An obese man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

thumb_up thumb_down

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops