roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Frenchman stays and fights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops