what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Nippies

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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guess what what that wasnt it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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