Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops