why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Men, get on the boat.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops