Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The cow went moo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +11

fart+fart=poop

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats really hot the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops