How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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Proof reading

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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Justin Beiber

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops