What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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#scabbers

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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