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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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