What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Cripples are lame.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops