Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

Im taking a shit right now.

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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