What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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