Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops