One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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