What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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69

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Andoni was here

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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