why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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