My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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