Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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