What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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