What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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