Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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