Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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