Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops