What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Indians

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why? Because.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops