Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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