What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

A baby seal walks into a club.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

Your gay

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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