What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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the WNBA.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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