Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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Diarrhea

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Your mam is so fat.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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