Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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Hi

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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woman's rights

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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