What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops