Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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my egg roll

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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F? No k

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This is a joke.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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Justin's life

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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