life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops