The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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run farther?

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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kushagra tyagi

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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Hello

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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