What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops