boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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