three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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i like men but im not gay

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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